I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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