dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Even my vagina gasped.
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
