I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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