He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
