I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
