woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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