I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
