i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
