I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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