Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
