Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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