one might say we're banned from that church
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
