Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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