that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
