She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
