how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
