I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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