I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
there is glitter all over my balls
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