I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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