dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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