whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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