Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
