Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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