Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
