Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Randomize
