i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this boner is exhausting
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
