He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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