so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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