Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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