No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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