The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
