Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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