She went from zero to smokin in five shots
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
