I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
