I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
