ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
