its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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