i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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