Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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