i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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