i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
