I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
