I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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