Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
