Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
