is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
