Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
