i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He passed out mid-signature
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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