why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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