Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
