id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
