he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Damn victory sex feels great
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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