If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
