i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize