Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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